Patience is a virtue...

This is a post that I wrote last Wednesday, but I couldn't post it. That would make it real. This is what we have been dealing with for the past week:

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 27, 2011
Today was one of the worst days I have had in a very long time. We had a doctor's appointment today to see if our baby had grown. I was a ball of nerves. I talked to many people about our last appointment and many people told me not to worry, but in my gut I had this nagging feeling. I wasn't so sure. I guess that in your heart you always know. The ultrasound tech told us that she still didn't see a baby and that my yolk sac was swollen. Dr. W later told us that I was having a miscarriage. We are devastated. Lots of tears today and lots of prayers. We WILL get through this and it will make us stronger. We will wait 2 months and try again. Thank you to everyone for your thoughts and prayers and positive thoughts you sent our way!

We went yesterday to the hospital to have the D&C. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. It is over now, and we are going to continue praying and know that God will give us our baby. Thank you again for all of your thoughts and prayers. We really appreciate them all. Kevin and I are fighters, so we will not be giving up!

Emotional Roller Coaster

Well, that is the only way I know how to describe the last few days! On Thursday, I had my first doctor's appointment and we were so excited. As we waited in the lobby, I could not wait to see the first picture of our little sweet pea. We went in to have the ultra sound, and as I was looking at the screen, all I saw was a black spot. It took a few minutes for the technician to say anything and I was dying! Finally, she said that she saw a sac and a yolk sac, but she did not see a baby or a heartbeat. My heart sank. I asked her, "What does that mean??" She said that maybe I had our conception date wrong. I immediately told her that it was not possible. I had an IUI, so I could tell her the hour and minute. She just said that we would need to talk to the doctor.

Extremely frustrated and completely scared, we waited in the doctor's office. He came in and told me that according to my ultra sound, my gestational age is 5weeks and 3 days. The tears came and I was a blubbering mess. The doctor said that he was cautiously optimistic and that this was not bad news. He told me that I am still pregnant, just not growing as quickly as I should. It very well could have something to do with the fertility medications I was on to force ovulation. He asked us to schedule another appointment for next week, so we will be back on Wednesday.

As we walked to the parking lot, I was an emotional wreck. I cried the whole way home. I just didn't know what to do. But, the more people I talk to, the more I realize that this isn't as uncommon as I thought. I talked to a good friend of mine whose sister-in-law is a nurse. She assured me that this is nothing to worry about and that it will be just fine. So, as of now, I feel much better. We will see what Wednesday brings. Hopefully, we will see our Sweet Pea! Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers!!

Great Day!

It has been a wonderful couple of days! I am still very tired, but I guess that is to be expected. I am growing a little one after all! :) Yesterday at work, I was surprised by a wonderful delivery at school! I got a beautiul bouquet of tulips with a card that said "Love y'all"! I almost cried in front of my class. I have the sweetest hubby! After work, we met Ryan and Katie for dinner. We had a great time visiting and catching up. They will make a great uncle and aunt!

Tomorrow is my first doctor visit. I am a little nervous but also very excited. I can't wait to see my little sweet pea and possibly hearing its little heart beat! More about the visit tomorrow!

Much better today...

Today was a much better day than yesterday! It did take me a while to get moving, but once I did, I got alot accomplished! Nails and toes are done and errands are done! Just wanted to share what our little sweet pea is up to this week!

Week 7: How does your baby grow? Pretty fast, actually. Your baby's length is approximately a quarter of an inch- the size of a blueberry. Sounds pretty tiny still? Consider this for a little perspective: Your baby is 10,000 times bigger now than it was at conception a month ago.

The biggest fetal growth this week is your baby's head (the better to store all those smarts in), with new brain cells being generated at the rate of 100 cells per minute. How's that for a budding genius?

And talking about buds, your baby is going out on a limb this week as his or her arm and leg buds begin to sprout and grow longer (and stronger), dividing into hand, arm, and shoulder segments- and leg, knee, and foot segments (though the limb buds look more like paddles than hands or feet at this early stage).

Also forming this week are your baby's mouth and tongue. And although your embryo is just one month old, it's already gone through three sets of kidneys. The ones in place now are the permanent set and are poised to begin their important work of waste management. In about a week, your baby will start producing urine. Lucky for you, there's no need for diapers (yet). As your baby matures inside you, much of that urine will be excreted into the amniotic fluid, swallowed again by your baby, and then excreted again in a continuous cycle.

Just me, the couch, and Harry...

As of today, I can honestly say that morning sickness sucks. I had my first full day of yuckiness. Saltines help... kind of. So, to make myself feel better, I went to Best Buy and picked up the new Harry Potter DVD. I was at home alone tonight, so I knew I could watch it in peace without Kevin asking, "How many times have you seen this??" I curled up on the couch with the storm howling outside and watched my new movie. Harry, Ron, and Hermione made me forget how bad I feel! Hopefully tomorrow will be better!

Is this real??

Yesterday at school, we had a staff meeting. At the end of the meeting, my principal asked if anyone had any happy news to share. I know that it was my perfect time to stand up and be a proud little mama, but I couldn't. It just doesn't seem real yet. I guess that I just need to see it on the ultra sound and hear its little heartbeat. I don't want to let everyone at work know until it really hits me and I just need the doctor to confirm it. So, here we wait... one more week and I will finally see my little sweet pea! Hurry up Thursday!!!

A New Addition...

Well, here we are. I think in my heart, I always knew this would happen, but I still can't quite believe it is real. We are FINALLY pregnant! After 4 1/2 years of trying, many sleepless nights, countless doctors appointments, lots of praying, crying, and waiting, we finally got the postive test we have been waiting for. Kevin will tell you that I am not the most patient person in the world-far from it- and it has been quite a struggle. It has paid off in the end and I thank God everyday for the wonderful gifts in my life. We had our last IUI on March 17th, St. Patrick's Day. It ended up being a very lucky day indeed! I was very nervous because this is the last IUI that Dr. W would perform before sending us to a specialist. I waited and waited, impatiently, and on Monday, March 28th, I couldn't wait any longer. So I took another test, fully expecting to see a BFN. To my shock, the digital read out said PREGNANT. Do my eyes deceive me?? I had to look a few times to really take it in. I screamed, cried, and hugged the dog. Poor Joe Lee. I don't think he has a clue what is about to happen to his life. I realized that I would have to wait several hours for Kevin to come home. He was at a referree meeting and would not be home until at least 10. When he finally walked through the door, I told him that there was a card that someone had left in the mailbox for him. He opened it and all he could say was WOW. The next day, I called the doctor. I went in for a blood test that afternoon and it was confirmed. To my dismay, the doctor wanted to wait 2 weeks before making an appointment. This is the longest wait ever! We told our parents and they were all completely shocked. Neither one of us had let on that the IUI could possibly have worked. I cannot wait to meet our little bundle of joy. I know that this baby will be loved and spoiled rotten!!